The Fountain of Youth

Thursday, April 27th

On this episode of COWORKERS - Tom believes other people's kids are like other people's farts - Taylor used to be "all about those sticky hands" - and before there was Amazon...there was Tara on skates.


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

You're listening to go orders but Tom Taylor and Chara they're Goer here's end they like to talk. So they got their own shell. And hopefully they don't screws up. So. You guys several blades yeah thoughts now cook. Do you really yes I love roller blading now really some love it. Listen my daughter in the day she says hey I'm what's roller blades and I'm a good dad you know I'll listen to my kids. So I took her shopping and we found some liberal approaches to the cheap kid kind because you know she's gonna forget about officer two yeah. At Toys 'R' Us. Much noise in washing her skate around there. Remind him how much I loved to ski in and my team we're going to DX I wanna get me some rollerblade you're just Everett have like a picturesque day in the park roller blading. And they chant death threats to it so. We go to Dicks and they're like yeah we don't sell roller blades anymore but I we don't it's the companies that build roller blades no longer sell. Anything in the store you have to buy directly from them really yeah because no wind. You solar Taylor gave it no I'm play anymore now its policies used assumed still exists but doesn't like Napster or you know. Finally today thanks Dahlia I never I didn't realize that I never seen anyone roller blading anywhere ever. Do. It do you see people role player not icing it and Broderick all. Not some hipster who's trying to be cool I mean you know he's actually on the thing OK yeah I'm not seeing it in karma yeah. The thing is so Iraq. Certain looking online and tonight I find some sort of like 30400. Dollars repair a decent pair of adult role of loans. L never become popular ever again ever again. Or get on Amazon and find some used for ninety dollars shipped out the door right and I get these things haven't I'm telling you like. He is like the fountain of youth. I love it I eight. In having the time of my free getting life. I was on this roller blades for like fifteen my heels last night. Yeah I mean in after running so long. It's a much easier to roll yes. It's tree Z that are direct a few times on share targets and a direct intimate. That break. No word yet remain a roller blades here but like at that break in the back on the heel. But don't work look I can never break using the hill bunched like the heel so I would always do one of those like real quick turns. That's how I would stop yeah I'm and it sounds cool when I didn't know before or how to do it turned. I would just run in the I never used that he'll stop saying. I don't know if anyone ever use that half it does have Q doesn't your like is once you start to like lean back on it you're going down just yeah yeah I'm gonna fault. But yet this is huge hill and I. I tried like walked out sideways. You know. Dead man's belt but a good. And also budgets are taken off in the I busted my accent hard all these people were watching. But you know. Once again in our little town you don't really exercise you know you don't use a bike or you don't walk or run unless you have a you few deal wise you can know. You know you can no longer drive. So. I'm once in sort of the odd man out but. I'm alone unloved and I mean. I highly recommend these elusive roller blades to you as a way to spend your time outside and I'm loving it. Nearly bonding with your daughter. Well yes he leaves turn to dust. I mean did she leave you enough defense he knows that's the things like you know. I never thought of myself as like a person who ever transfer information to another human being. But here I am message dad and Mike and it's weird just it just kind of comes natural. You're just very near I mean other people that's why he can't do other people's kids other people's kids are terrible it's like other people's hearts are terrible I. Right you're. I don't think why would you love him my friend you know like that was a good one or about one or like you know the ins and outs. But when when I kept that's likable the bid girlfriend's boyfriend always harms the kid and almost news stories yes not blood. You know right it's so easy to lose your temper it's so easy it's so hard to deal with children. But here hearing him Buick a decent human being and it and it being a decent father. I have to ask a question go when you guys were growing up like in junior high and high school well mainly junior high. Did you guys have like the bus trips to the skating hard oh yeah and you now. Okay that was like my life I loved it and I tea. Lived for those nights because it was like my night to shine because I already got those cheap though roller skates. Which I could not skate on. Now and I had to bring the roller blades because that's on time in acts show often stuffed him on what you had roller blades is a kid only had skates I had relentless in its rookie year gaffe. British girl begins. Armed town and mean Illinois gas. What we're usually have the word arm in. Well enough but the foot on the farm where you riding roller blades just written a town on the streets and stuff now can't. I mean I lived around all these old people so it's like. We need to eliminate natural skin over I mean. I'm sure I excites skated I did all that there was not anything to do that don't do this that I do miss that. And nowadays when I go back to kind of president like my parents and stuff I'll drive by our old house and it seems so tiny to mean. I'm like I used to rollerblade on the streets. And now like they're so tiny little. We did to me it was like you know most players right now. Yeah I mean nice to do all that but the skating party is. They were life of course you know all of. They had to do like hand checks. You know does that mean they can't turn the lights on on the bus an already had a praised their hands to make sure nobody was Madeleine in the back good jobs at school you know it has sixty. Music that's the farm town you mean there's nothing to do but get pregnant yeah. All that's been like the hormones are really high and everybody would get they would go to the skating parties that they can he answered the boyfriend's sperm and and it's you know and so yeah we have. I got it was like. Nearly 25 minute drive from our little farm town. To the skating place and so I had about 45 hand checks do we have any of those around here like we did know of yeah. We need to do escaping into roller rink there's one west side. He calls stately and yeah thing out and then there might be one. One other one but they aren't they're going. Extinct. I mean listen save them. All the cool stuff from when I was a kid like. Taylor you probably don't wreck realize this but like. About ten years before you were born to. The greatest thing ever was to go to the arcade. And like play these games yeah. I mean were you there were arcades around when your. In my tiny town that we had dairy queen and in the back of the dairy queen was this giant arcade. I have like. It probably had four arcades did but when I was a kid I was like this is everything to me. You're any any games in particular because there was this moment in time where. They have these like two besides grower fighting games we have like the turtles and the Simpsons. And X man and they were always a Pizza Hut. I picked up pizza hottest curry did you know now this cute but what you TV either Pizza Hut inside anymore have you know. All the pizza huts that I have I grew up with have turned into like delivery only delivery girl walked in and pick it up yeah. It's but if you think about it I mean those were. Strange pictures inside of Pizza Hut. Where it was like a guy with a bundle of sticks on his shoulder. And they it was like people supposedly people like I don't know maybe from the middle of Italy years something in like the seventeenth century. It's the build walls of Pizza Hut for shall ever be so it was dark. You know yes boos have those red seats you know it it was good he was a place made for dank you know. It has been strange pictures and the whole atmosphere was horrible. Matt salad Behar cooked up yeah. Dear god you would ever go to pizza order that's salad. And you remember them being so excited to get a Pizza Hut for the games I remember that. What do you mean later softball game Lola they didn't RO KEA games only eight I was more about it the prize at the end rather than the arcade. Like you know David shoot out this little plastic little bottled public. A bouncy ball in matters are resolved not to sticky hands small dome and again you're such a girl right now. The arcade stuff that's like a boy I think anything yeah I mean it looks like you know you have a guy that gunning like mowing people over again it's the shirt saying yeah. Orange again. I asked. The parent how things from our child of just disappeared I mean my kid we'll never know like even though she's reaching back with these roller when shall never know the joy of no. Old the Hamburg alert you remember that guy she's hit. I mean there was a big mural there's a mural. In this were in this McDonald's league I would do as a kid with like this trained. And birdie was like he river birdie she was the girl with yeah they asked the means you have to McDonald's yeah. Yes now I don't drink this birdie hamburger. Big purple thing Christmas I'll catch Ronald McDonald. And then hold finger remember all the others above thirty Powell's. Yeah they've McDonald land and they were like writing this mural amigos. Twelve hit a mile wide it is in this the hamburger was like on the back of the training going to Bagger hamburgers. Blindfold. I think ray yeah yeah yes that's the whole point of view of the burglar. Well even Ronald McDonald is no longer around. No I think guess who wants. Around there. But I Morgan spur locked guy and ask the if I ever see him and realized I would run over that guy. He really super size. Get these beautiful 64. Outs cokes from McDonald's. Beautiful. You know these gigantic boxes of Fries. It was perfect filling a dollar 29. Inning this dish book does this movie where you didn't eat anything but mcdonalds in gains weight. Are you kidding. Water revelation. Usually be held the great filmmaker. So I'm still angry about that. Anyway about that time they surrogate not yet on this kick about being healthier and and they start. Same instance saying publicly like well maybe Ronald McDonald isn't the kind of thing we want you we will abate kids into. Rain you know publicly grilling yeah they don't they don't pick this up using him because they didn't wanna. They should've kept the clown around it's. And no one likes clowns. I hate clowns I love Ronald I really hate clown remember that commercial. I mean it to this day. So this day it's one of the most touching moments of my life. Where. But warn kids can't ice skate. At christmastime. And then like Ronald McDonald. The other kids won't play with hammer her summit. And the Ronald just shows up Ronald just shows up out of nowhere like you creepy clown. And whether initiating at night. And he's got star fond and he's reaches out and she looks or he looks up to remember and spark her eyes sparkle. And various there's cronies he's their free you know and she picks it. He picks her up and they start to skate and like the scene and fade out I mean it was a beautiful beautiful moment. And yes have no idea what I don't know I feel like I've seen that commercial. He'll have to look it up so we can share this moment with a M I mean honestly I think we will think it's Majorly creepy it's so beautiful. And it's like it. It hit me the same way like any of these perhaps this is happening is I'm a child I realize that you know life is more. Then just you know greed in in getting missing she won everyday life it's about time the real. Good relationships that you built people and these. Remember the Maxwell house commercial he asked where the guy by the brother comes back from its. Vietnam or are they help you guys remember Ali commercials. It's because OK so he's totally rat McDonald's thing I don't remember but these commercials used to be really good. On TV yeah it was like a little how they 32 movie yet. But how late in thirty seconds they were able to get a feeling you are from you know Maxwell house Hannity and you like coffee. You know and you don't even know why but. So yeah. Something happens almost Christmas morning. And that huge sneaks in this duffel bag from the army. Drop to the front door sneaks in in that you're close up on the coffee like she skewed in a yes I shut. It out. He just got accompanist and all. You know suddenly you're like I have to train and then mom wakes ups she smells good too and she makes up off propeller which he's looking around and she comes on a. And sure enough for Paramount Marshall but. It was connecting coffee tough home you know. I mean genius and it in Houston and San you know. That. My wife wanted to name our kids Maxwell. And the because of that no but I wouldn't let her because of that. Such a powerful connection without commercials like Maxwell is coffee. That's all it means to me is Maxwell House Coffee in Danny coming home from his tour in Vietnam or whatever. And as I need your opinion and so we don't have kids yet but if we have a Blaine. My husband wanted to name him after his dad who passed a couple of years ago. And I always loved the name eaten so impossible when Raymond. But what about the middle name and so his dad's middle name was Alan he wants to Nenad child Ethan Allen. And it's absolutely not. It's always water. Thought well. On graduation stage Ethan Allen maybe a couple other little friends Lane Bryant yeah. I mean you know like absolutely not about Eddie Bauer yeah you can't about blank now. I can see you as a mother Terry I think you really think you be really good mother hand ready for that no regret you know play in the next year. You know. Are you trying ready now or not I don't own. I get and all of a I. So you're not try nice try I feel like you are not we're not Georgia line to me and that's and looking you straight in the night telling you we're not trying know. Okay well currently does. You did tell you when we are. She just text me please okay yeah. Tomatoes and that's exactly throwing arm Taylor and Sarah as they navigate the murky waters of everyday life. And now in the office it's these diseases but. Lowered its.