Karma's a B*TCH

Friday, March 3rd

On this episode of COWORKERS - Tom admits he's been a monster for a long time - Taylor is a lazy piece of crap...and he's cool with it - and karma bites Tara in the butt.


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

You are listening to go orders but Tom Taylor and Chara they're Goer here's end they like to talk. So they got their own shot. Hopefully they don't screw this up. Michael do you pitch yesterday. Yeah that's. Believe we just don't. Like a couple days ago talking now how you know broad region. Calling people out on the around it's didn't turn I don't read in time zones in the air. It is in the air and you know here I OK I am going to be more assertive on the road and somebody turned out in front of me and I honked. And I felt empowered. The feeling on fuel and free yeah so I texted you guys I was like Taylor would be proud because I'm voicing my ain't. Frustrations or whatever and literally not even twenty minutes later after I got out of the meeting I didn't run alight but it was green. And turn yellow in the process of me crossing mr. meet them and this high it just was like. And it. Yeah Carmelo did. Mean in the night following suit I'm sure you for a you were well identities are kind of like I just feel like. Wanted to just kind it you know explain myself there's no explaining that the first reaction should be middle finger up and the that pat and I kept thinking about it like for the next half hour I was like. Sure I'll write you now and I kept doing that now. Well you need to OG chamber. You Terry need to have one locked and loaded it's all there. For any given situation I didn't have any mountain elk or that would have been go to. Why is always in this he can use it anytime you want feel free to steal this that might is all each up yours jackass. Yeah I think about it you get no matter won't Wear your hat that he didn't know at the stoplight you you know your fist fight the parking lot you know. Somebody's making coffee. Let's let's get up yards jackass. I tend to do one of these. It. Actually that might make someone more angry is like she's making fun of me now are the three lights right around us I didn't wanna get stuck in a red arm him like run app that is the worse than you were when you feel you get. Isn't that the most I. Awkward saying you know the person. If you get stuck next to someone you know at a red light for instance you leaving work at the same time with somebody who might Josh it's horrible. It is brutal I can't tell you how awkward it is and you're not even having a conversation with a look over and lame. Always onetime enemy gets to the point where I'm like yeah now the satellite way you might as he's she easily leaving. Like I'm gonna make this ten times more opera. So it's less awkward for me well what it what it does is it puts a magnifying glass on the disingenuous. Small talk and yeah her and life and relationship that you had because let's like. Here's here's the problem. All of them stuck in this box the building. With these people you know and you find. Give the all clear freedom you hit the road but you're like yes I can be no easy. And then you you turn your right now god there's Kelly. You like. I Calais hours ago when a mom and me me me hill. But I. And then like next stop right there is still killing me. Can I. I have I'm ready to hit the road and are ready to be knee. That's the worst part about like a work. Party. Like at someone's house not not here at the station because that's awesome because I mean you're not work. But if you have to go to like in events at someone's house. It's just crazy how difficult it is to communicate with people EC. Every single day well you're trying to do it in a friendly way especially you know weekly address we've talked about before we dress how are we want yeah you know the air staff. Then he hits a Merck still staff in the air like. You know because they're always in you Cole's best. Hair all of our. Which heroin part Brazil's out. But you know like. 1977. Katrina. You know it's the same stuff. But they know like you ego somewhere and then here comes Pete he's got basketball shorts on and a teacher at. And you're like oh boy. I feel awkward or not prepared. I wouldn't even know what to do there. Yeah I mean. But that's I don't even go to those things whenever there is one of his you know what a Micah and what you doing that may you live so far away that no one expects you to count isn't beautiful yeah. I like there. I feel like a terrible person if someone invites me to something and I don't go because I only live. Fifteen minutes away maybe you just have it all wrong well. I mean they take care of the drinks they take care of the fitted and you don't called and talked in a wheelchair here's my thing. Whenever it comes still like. So I says hey we're not grab drinks so yeah like. Okay well I can have some drinks but I have to only have enough drinks too ill to wrap to stop and be responsible. Yeah and then. Any okay all right listen about to be knighted by the queen of England for all my good work right. And they're gonna fly me over there I'm gonna get Buckingham Palace and at full treatment everything's taken care of climbing back over. That. Sit on my couch. And half Mexican food. Or pizza. And drink a beer. Might catch wins every time out every single time it's. I see I feel bad I'm I'm with you now because. Like I've got friends who were I hate come downtown let's go out to the bars and five years ago when I lived. Ten minutes from downtown I would've totally done meant because a cab would've cost me ten bucks now if I go downtown. I get to barely have any fun because I have constantly remind myself. I can't drink anymore feminists I have to switch to water now. And then I have to drive 45 minutes back home now to screw that you know that's why I've become lazy piece of crap. I am cool that I love it. I mean listen my friends have all. I have first I have three friends okay the same friends I've had since I was in grade school Kimberly reconsidering on up. Any you know I don't talk about you know that really that inner circle these people who know you absolutely the best yet right. Those best friends of yours I don't want an Arizona I've got one in Italy. I've got one in Evansville. Like they're scattered. I never see them we hardly ever talk it's the greatest. Even when they're in town in the come back to little Brooks over once a while but you know. They're so busy with their family you know we might seem for 1020 minutes. And Hayes is CA glad you're alive a drive cancer are the usual thing yeah they both parties understand it's genetic currently stuff you know. And and your real friends. You can literally. Not talk to them for two years. Answer the phone one day at lunch and you right back you know yeah right there then you know that's that's the good part about it. You know I feel like that's how most guys are girls on the other hand I feel like based somehow still make France. Guys like I was talking my girlfriend the other day. About. How I've got all the friends any click. Never hear like it was like depressing parents feel like because she's so friendly and outgoing and always talking to people. And I am always finding a way to avoid talking yeah. Taylor I've read I could write a book. I mean literally I can write a book about though the ways in which I have either. You know avoided people were deceived people in an attempt to avoid avoid people could not make friends and succeed this. You get what you should write a book I mean listen there's a success but there is there is definitely some enjoyment in in finding. Alone time Mike you know here's here's the problem with people. People will let you down. Over and over and over I trust like wine person in the entire world. And myself. I can't my wife like she's like the only person that I know and I can count on wind a hundred in 50%. You know I can always no matter what it is I can count honor. Other than that I mean who really what's the track ticket for a year life what's track record with people out Diana I mean how many times you've been disappointed by some 88. Who you thought was on the up and up. How many times have I disappointed some. Exact same loop. I remember my friend in college he was like hey. Two it was summer break and he was heading back to a Butler from Chicago. Driving up 65 there's an exit that it's has the sign of my hometown on it yeah. It's like it's like twenty minutes away and I get a phone call from the site Heyman and I got a flat tire but says some. How tough fifteen miles from her hometown Mike. You're closer to India then might come down here my hitting mid. I swear Taylor. As like sideman better just call someone a at Butler your amazing. It might. You're amazing I mean it was a huge fan of the kid. But I mean. Like I guess I I pictured at all like I would get there he would have a spare tire we cheat we train changed the tire. Or we try and here it up something would go wrong and I have to end up giving him all the way to Butler did I would have to drive all the way back come so it was like. You know what if someone from Butler comes to help you there at. Least where you want to be and they can take you back there you can't waste all that caps and I can at least that cast time recently sat gas. Here's this here's the thing that. I am awkward with people because I don't know what to do with them. In that situation and I'm on fire like we have a purpose. I can be around you because you need help. I'm a bad ass I got all these tools I got to air compressor reduces side of the road how many would teach you we can be teachable moment like. When I have been assignment. I can deal with people via what you know my at my job is. Comedy club is to get up in front of people off stage before hand with a drink in my hand trying to mingle with the crowd. East torture. Is I don't care what they're saying yeah and it's not like I don't care if you sit. I don't think they're gonna care what I have to say so. Yeah why are we doing it I never thought of that way. Because I I've always thought to myself like I don't care what you have to its day but maybe it is more of Ike. I know they don't care what I have to say right yes yes and you so but did you get up on the stage and suddenly you have like. Not necessarily authority but you haven't Simon you have something to do. With people that and then I came in I can't shine now but like just the one on one images of soaked arable. See I just can't relate to this 'cause I'm very I love talking of people that is wrong with I. You know I did. This polarity this reminds me. I am I didn't play a lot of sports when I was a Kent that I did play softball for awhile. And I remember I hate running I just hate it's just not something I'd ever do like I gonna go out on the mound on a run. Doesn't find it's like I'm running towards a base I have something to do. And I would steal the base of all the time cousins really fast well at the time. And that that was like a goals I was like I love softball because when I'm running I'm running for debates like a running toward the goal but can't just run around and similarity I have mingling your. Hole you now. I see recovered from now yeah it is you it's like. You're on a mission yes and and for that mission you can get motivated and complete the mission and and then I had to do it. That's not a bad when Alex thanks. And here look I run I run a line around long distances and right there there's nothing better than my doing that to get away from people. Yeah to clear your mind. And to you know as so as a way. And as in essence the goal is. To be running. Maybe that's what you're I mean that's what you should do for talking with people. If I just get through this conversation. All of you get any. Raise a marathon whatever it is it's torture well and deal is I mean have you taken those online test the figure out appear more introvert vs actor. Cash for its test and take Matt I got on right on the line which I find very odd. Because I think I I cherish my island time like I need that time but I also love being around people. We're. Yeah. He see our armored among weird animal myself has. You know I like to be. In front of the camera I like to be on the microphone I like to be in front of the crowd I like the make people laugh my attention time I do you see a day. I'm I'm the exact same play I want that attention but then when I don't know my name I really don't. I don't look at me you know why could I I'll take that I ghosts like nobody else like I pulled. Might I don't respond to our attacks I mean my my former well that's a whole other show. My former bosses took us out to a congratulatory dinner to a whole newsroom. They spent ninety dollars a plate on this expensive restaurant in a hole I mean that life. Worldly suits. It was a big night. All I mean I ate I went to the restroom and that I walked right. In my lawsuit you don't have he was the news director so his bosses were there I get this text messages like did you ghost and I'm like. Oh you better believe it. I at all. They enjoy that pointless chatter. I mean I'd is always what I you know I wanna do my thing I wanna get moving and I like to feel that I see that road. Yeah. I mean. It's it's crazy like it there's so much pointless chatter at work. You can't escape it so when your done with working meat you're done with the pointless chatter he want nothing to do it. Might just. Don't give an F face is constantly showing outside of work lessons were all narcissus in on some or all self involved and so. A self focused. And calm it's something I've been working on trying to work out and mailing no seriously. This is this is me helped I mean I I've been a monster like for a long time. But. I. I I it feels good to help people. Yeah I love I like doing that you know when it comes or Christmas I feel uncomfortable giving gifts but I like. To give gets rights to see people receive gifts that my wife bought. But out of our names are. Did that goes right back to my point my he might face even though I might care it's constantly saying I don't. So I don't know O'Neill president and I know that I need socks and I'm happy with getting Sox but my face says are you freaking kidding me Sox. Even if it were something really cool like an Xbox right I'd be like. I couldn't get so excited to write the book like I care even though I actually do you care. Well listen I could I could. I I've been able to. Put that poker face on you know you Graham buys you something. And it's you know coloring books and Ingraham sixty. But you know you don't ever see here is you and another state or whatever so you put on this the poker face you know Kevin that the Russia and but as you get older. You know and that same show goes on every day out here by the copy machine. You know hey how secure prayer of the rest strand our trip to the rest chairman got to get CP and he would ease up you and I got to talk to the growth of front desk you know. Yeah let's let's hear her weigh in on social issues. That. Like. What you've. You don't know the secrets. You just have to look straight ahead. And never make eye contact just keep walking that doesn't really good giants seriously when I have to walk back it says the sales side. I just act like I can't see anyone. I got blind. And ignore what we never once I mean I per capita might. Act like that I don't Sany things I know he wouldn't sit it yeah. And I don't open them up for other people to be like. Yeah if I respond to wanna have to respond normal. It's in this is that this is a tough gig we've got. We get the day without speaking to rejoice. We're horrible people. I think you guys are just our luck I'm fine. That's probably true what do pitch. I'm Taylor and Sarah as they navigate the murky waters of everyday life. And now in the office. This is aces aces and co workers.